I spent a few days in bed while I had pneumonia. I spent many hours in the land of "Reality" TV. The Real Housewives of the OC, Intervention, the Voice. How Real is Reality? If my life was a Reality show the last 12 years would be filled with many things we would not want the world to know. We would have to accept the pains of our paths. There would be tough losses, bouts with the law, funerals, depression, anxiety, failures, feeling alone, feeling lo...st even though everyone around has made you a part of this family. I often tell people that adoption is not saving children, we become a constant reminder of what they can never return to, "their home, their family".
The Reality is that many accept their new lives, their new families but a part of them never lose the desire to be connected to their birth families. It is a secret that they sometimes keep deep inside.
But the love they feel is also real. It may be confusing at times because children feel that they shouldn't love strangers as their parents. But they do. They enjoy certain experiences with these second families. They feel at home when being tucked into bed. And sometimes Reality sets in and they even can feel they don't want to return home.
Being a 2nd Father to all three of my boys is something that I was truly chosen for. They all have their birth Fathers but I am still a " Real" dad.